Longing for Spring

Amazing how we have found a new normal around here.  6 months ago, the world we now live in, a child fighting cancer, didn't exsist.  6 months ago I would have told you that would be something I couldn't survive much less get a handle on. And yet, God gives us what we need when we need it.  Not a moment before.  It is impossible to store up courage, or peace, or even true grief.  It happens when it happens and God provides in the moment. Somedays really feel normal around here.  We've gotten used to the schedule, the hospital stuff, the pills, the shots.  And somedays it just hits me and I absolutely hate our new normal.  Yesterday was one of those days.  It was time to get Slade's portraits done and I wanted some with the boys too.  Looking at the proofs of the pictures, it just didn't look like my Forester.  He's swollen from the steroids and he's not as athletic looking like he's always been.  It just made me miss him.  Even though he's right in front of me, (thank you Lord!) I began to miss my "old" guy.  I was kindly reminded today by my sweet friend to remember that this time in our lives is just a season.  She's right.  Forester has already beaten cancer as far as I'm concerned & we're just dealing with the crappy side effects of chemo.  But, one day this will be in our past.  These days will be a memory.  He may miss 2nd grade but he'll be a "normal" kid in 3rd grade.  This too shall pass.  I'm doing my best to embrace the current season that we're in.  But somedays I just long for the new season to come like you would long for spring after a long, cold winter.  It will come.  I just miss my guy.

Above is a slideshow of Forester. I tried to put it in the sidebar but after hours of trying I just couldn't make it work.  It's also supposed to be in chronological order but it's randomizing.  Oh well.  Grrr..  I'll keep trying.  

I love him so much.  My first born, my baby.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Two posts in two days?  Whoa!! Just I thought I would share a few little happy things.  

This morning Forester & I were playing with Slade on my bed and my timex watch alarm, which was on the stairs in the other room, started going off.  After a couple seconds Forester asked"what is that noise?".  HE HEARD IT! It's a high pitched noise & rather quiet from the other room and he heard it!  As you well know I am always praying protection over his ears from permanent hearing loss. I know you are too.  We still have four more rounds to go but I really want to give God the glory for His protection over his ears.  At the end of these 6 months I want Forester to have perfect hearing.  I want to hear people say, "you're so lucky" so I can say "no, we prayed and prayed and God answered"!  Let's keep praying!  I know there are some of you who read this blog who are not Christians and you think I'm acting a little freaky. You're right, I'm freaky!  I have seen and witnessed what God can do.  He has proved Himself to be faithful and trustworthy over and over again.  Will everything turn out just like I want it?  Maybe, and most likely not.  Will God take care of us and continue to give us joy and peace in every circumstance regardless of any outcome?  YES.  Does He desire for us to be healthy and whole?  I believe He does.  I'm going to keep praying and keep giving Him the glory for every good report that comes my way.

Now for a really human moment....I find myself thinking if I post what I just wrote above will that mean that Forester will lose some hearing? Just so I have to eat my words?  Such a dumb way to think but you know how you might say, "that will never happen" and then it happens so you don't want to say "that will never happen".  Basically it comes down to some silly superstition, right?  I also want this so badly and I want others to see what God can do - if it doesn't happen does that cause someone else to doubt God? Those are my thoughts. But this is the truth.  I am not responsible for TRYING to make God look good.  He doesn't need my help by any means.  So that's why I'm ignoring those silly thoughts and posting this!  (Now my non-Christian friends really think I'm crazy!)

Okay, for more happiness here are a few cute videos of Slade waving Bye Bye and giggling at Micah being silly.  She'll be 8 months old tomorrow! 

*Remember to scroll down and pause the playlist so you can listen to the video.

HAVE A WONDERFUL  WEEKEND MY FRIENDS! ~Whit

Sorry it's been so long...

My apologies to all of you who have been wondering what the heck has been going on with us the last week or so. I decided that family is family and regardless of Forester's counts we would stay the week out at Seabrook Island with Mom & Dad, Paris & the kids. I took a mini vacation from life at home & the computer. It was a great week! We had to take a few 6 hour long trips to the hospital but Sam went with us which made it more fun for Forester. We had a wonderful time just being together.
Foresters counts bottomed out last Friday & he had to get a blood transfusion which was expected. His white blood cell count bounced back up from 40 to 24,000 on Monday. Thank you Neupogen shots! So we made it through round 2 without an additional hospital stay or fever. Forester seems to be doing pretty well except for the neuropathy in his hands and legs as a side effect from the Vincristine. He struggles to walk normally and has some pain. He is now on Neurontin 3 times a day to help with these side effects. So far, we haven't seen much change & it really ups his daily pill count! It also makes him very sleepy so he's taking more naps each day. We hope the benefits will kick in soon. Amazingly, his weight is up to 74 pounds so we were able to stop the Megace liquid (so nasty!) which is an appetite stimulant. Forester was very happy about that! Round 3 begins on August 10th.
Many of you have been asking about Pete. And once again I'm sorry I haven't updated you sooner. There really hasn't been much to tell until this week. We have no concrete conclusions but all tests have come back with good results. Including the sleep study. No sleep apnea. What has been discovered and confirmed 3 times now is that Pete does have an arrhythmia in his heart called ventricular bigeminy. It's a very consistent arrhythmia and doesn't seem to be cause for concern but he's going to follow up with a cardiologist in August. The last "non-breathing" episode happened almost a week ago & Pete seems to be feeling better with each passing day. It seems whatever was happening was related to some kind of virus that was in his chest & possibly in his heart. Don't know if we'll ever have an official diagnosis but the closest one we have is Myocarditis.
I know there is more to post but this is all I have the energy for today. I've been feeling pretty worn out emotionally...I'm not sleeping much these days as I tend to be so worried about my guys during the night. My brain is suffering the consequences!


*Still trying to work out details on the Braves game on Sept. 6th. More on that soon! Thanks as always for your love and prayers. ~ Whitney

*pictures from last week at Seabrook & the hospital.

Bald Stud

Micah - loving every moment! He's like this all the time. He loves life!

Maddie & Forester ....Forester could only get his feet wet which was sad & then I found out later we should avoid the ocean altogether for a while. Boo.

Sam & Forester at the hospital. Waiting for blood to arrive so the transfusion can start.



With a transfusion comes Benedryl so Forester sleeps through most of it.






A beautiful night at Seabrook Island's Pelican's Nest. I declared this day my birthday since it was so much better than my actual birthday.






Forester & Madison. Forester has a blue mouth from a blow pop.




Slade being adorable as always.



Having fun while waiting for the food to arrive.

Pete & Forester - always close together.

Me & Slade.

Pop & Slade

Pop showing the boys something cool on the computer.



Cousins! Baby Nicholas & Slade (she looks huge! sniff sniff)

Round 2 is done.

Forester is home and doing well. Happy to be in his own bed...or make shift bed in the corner of our room which has been his bed since Feb. He slept great and is in a great mood today!

The results of Pete's CT scan of his chest and neck were clear. We are thankful for that! Still not exactly sure what's going on with him but a clear CT rules out a bunch of serious stuff. Last night Pete slept well for the 1st time in about 2 weeks so praise God for that!

We return to the hospital for blood labs on Monday afternoon. My sis in law, Paris and her 3 kiddos (Sam, Madison, & 8 week old Nicholas) will be arriving from Nashville on Monday. Sam is Forester's very best friend in the whole world. They only see each other a couple of times a year. Forester currently doesn't know that they're coming because there is a chance that if his counts are already plummeting by Monday then we will have to quarantine him. Pray that Forester's counts take a slow decline so that I we'll be able to surprise him with the news that his favorite cousin is in town and he can go PLAY. I'm picturing the joy on his face...I pray I can give him this good news!

I'll keep you posted on the Pete mystery. Thanks for your prayers & keep praying against those chemo side effects!

Some birthday happiness...

my beautiful flowers... my flower made by Forester...and a great gift from Kathie, hanging pictures!

Another update!

Pete is on his way for a CT scan now. They're going to work him in. And, Forester gets to come home tonight! Sometime after dinner time..yay! I'm praying I'm not taking one out of the hospital and putting another one in but whatever it takes to get everyone well. Pray for a clear diagnosis for Pete, discernment for his doctor and pray that it's nothing serious! Thanks! I'll keep you posted...

FYI: Slade is on the mend but she's still a little stuffy and I'm pretty sure her top 2 teeth are about to break through. All I can say is thank God for miracle Motrin! :o)

Video & Brief Update

I know I should update with more info but to be honest I just can't re-hash it all right now.

Brief summary: Forester has been doing really well in the hospital but won't be discharged until tomorrow which we're all sad about. We miss him & want him home. Pete continues to get worse and not better. It's freaking me out because it's bizarre. Forester's headaches were bizarre. I do not like bizarre...it scares me. Right now the guess is it's related to a problem with his heart. Pete has a CT scan of his chest & neck tomorrow but he feels bad enough that he was trying to see if he could get it done right away. Not possible. Pete is the glue that holds us all together. My glue is falling apart, therefore I feel....anxious and afraid and a bit like I'm free falling. I feel like my limits are being tested as far as just how much one person can handle. And somehow I know God is trying to teach me to trust him above all else. I have no choice but to trust Him and I do. But, I'm still scared. Prayers are needed. Thank you. ~Whitney

Happy birthday dear Whitney! Happy birthday to you!

Growing up, I often wished I had a sister. I now know the Lord did not give me a sister because He wanted to give me YOU! You are my sister, and I could not love a biological sister any more than I love you. You are my very best friend and have stood by me and with me through highs and lows, through good decisions and baaaad decisions, through times of laughter and joy and through times of pain and sadness... You know me better than anyone (probably even Marty) and you love me just the same. My life is richer and more beautiful because of you.

I know you - you with your amazing gifts, your oh so human imperfections, and your brown, burgundy, blond, black, light brown, darker brown, red, straight and curly hair (hee hee!), and I am so very proud to know you and love you and call you my best friend. You are a treasure, an unbelievable girt, a perfect creation in Christ Jesus. You love Jesus with every ounce of your being and His love and His life shine through you. You touch lives in immeasurable ways, you love with the love of Christ, and you sow joy wherever you go. You are gorgeous inside and out. You are strong because of Him who gives you strength. You, as you live out your life and your authentic faith in front of all of us, are an awesome testimony to the perfect power and peace available to all of us in Jesus.

You are precious to me. You are a blessing to me. My heart aches for you, as you and your family have to walk this road with Forester, and I wish I could take it all away. Know this though: You are my family. Your family is my family. Just as nothing will separate you from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, nothing will ever separate you from me.

My prayer for you today is that you have a day of renewed rest, perfect peace and inexplicable joy, that the stress you're feeling vanishes and that you feel the very real presence of Abba Father in new ways. I pray that you have a glimpse of the celebration occuring today because of you and that you hear the Lord singing over you. I know He is.

I look forward to decades more of bestest friendship with you! Happy Birthday! I love you and so wish I could celebrate with you today!

Illnesses, Braves Games & Chemo, Oh MY!

Sorry it's been a week or so since my last update. I was hoping to have pictures from the run to post but I don't have any yet! Can you believe I didn't take any myself? It was kinda crazy...and early. But, it was a fantastic event raising $4,000! Thank you so much to all of you who participated. I know it was an early morning effort to get out there but I pray that you were blessed and had fun. You have certainly blessed us!! For those of you (like me!) who weren't able to get a T-shirt due to such a GREAT turn out, please let me know as we are going to place another order for those very soon. Just comment here or shoot me an email @ whitbradburn@gmail.com Or if you have pictures you could share with me, ditto!

In other good news, I met with one of Forester's doctors this week as a follow up to his Developmental Neuropsychological Evaluation. Basically he was given a battery of IQ tests and other neurological function tests to determine the effects of chemotherapy and radiation on his brain. All of his test scores showed Forester functioning in the average range in all categories. Most of these he was actually in the high-average range and in only 2 areas was he in the low average range. These 2 areas have to do with processing speed, and auditory working memory. These 2 areas are very commonly effected by chemo and radiation. We are thankful he is still in the average range and we also have some tools to use to help him be successful (like having more time to take tests & written directions). Hopefully we can exercise these brain areas too. All in all it was WONDERFUL to receive good news!! Initially after the brain surgery I wondered if he would ever be able to walk & talk much less complete school work... So, HAPPY!! And, this Dr. said she doesn't need to re-evaluate him for another 2 years! Isn't that amazing? So to God be the glory and give Him praise for this awesome report!!!

In more good news....ATTENTION ATLANTANS & BRAVES FANS!!! Forester has been invited by 1st base coach, Glenn Hubbard to attend a Braves game on Sunday September 6th! He'll get to meet the players, get a jersey and a glove and all other kinds of fun stuff! Isn't that awesome? We would love it if you, who have been praying for Forester, would join us for this fun day so that we could meet you and you could meet Forester. Of course there is always the possibility that this may not happen because of Forester's treatments but we are going to hope and pray that Forester's treatment stays on schedule so this works out! So get your tickets now and join us for Forester Day at the Braves Game!! SEPT 6th! We'll have to find a way to be able to recognize "Friends of Forester" at the game...I know you guys are creative so let me know if you have any ideas. Wearing your blue bracelet would help...maybe we could all wear a certain color?? Like I said...need help - comment or email me! :o)

We've had a bit of extra drama around here lately. I was just wishing we had more drama cause things were starting to get boring! ;-0 Pete has had a chest infection for the last couple weeks and has taken several meds for it. In the last week he had 4 what seemed like asthma attack episodes where he instantly could not get in any air for several minutes. It has been frightening. Horrible. I was scared to death and wanted to put him in the hospital last night! Anyway, he survived last night and is on his way to Atlanta for his 20th year high school reunion. Will you please pray for him. Pray that whatever is causing this would heal and that he wouldn't have any more of these scary episodes. You know it's bad when I went to the computer to review rescue breathing/CPR. YIKES! For Pete's sake, pray! (hee hee) Thank you.

Also, a praise and a request. Slade is sick too. She's has her very first cold and fever. So, this is where the praise comes in. She's 7 months old and this is her very 1st illness!! God has been protecting us and sweet Forester. Just pray that God will comfort her and that she will recover quickly. Apparently Micah has a hacking cough and Muzzy (my mom) is getting this cold too. Pray for quick healing and please pray protection over Forester as any illness could delay his next treatment. THANK YOU!

Crazy yucky cancer killing chemo ROUND 2 begins on Monday! We go in at 10:45 and Forester should be in the hospital until Thursday morning. Please get out that list of side effects (or look at the older post with the list) and pray protection over Forester against all of them. My general prayer has been: "Lord, please bless every cell in Forester's body. Allow the chemo to destroy unhealthy cells and place your complete protection around his healthy cells." If you don't know what else to pray, please join me in praying that prayer.

We love you all and as I continue to say, there are no words to express our gratitude,

In the palm of His hand,

Whitney