Thursday, October 23, 2008

Poor me... I don't think so!

Well, Pete is gone again this week. This will be the fourth week in a row that he has had to travel to PA for work. Ever since taking this new job 8 months ago, Pete has been required to travel quite a bit. This has taken some getting used to but I think I'm getting there. I know my attitude about it really stunk back in the spring but I realize now that Pete doesn't enjoy leaving anymore than I like him going. It's just as hard for him. I have to say the hardest part so far is the toll it's begun to take on Forester. He now seems to have at least one bawling crying episode each trip these days. He just misses his Dad and wants him to come home. It breaks my heart and there's nothing I can do about it. I've received a lot of sympathy from those around me who say "it must be so hard, especially while pregnant" or "I just couldn't do it. I couldn't handle it by myself". And though from time to time these comments tempt me to feel sorry for myself, lately God has enlightened me to the truth. I AM BLESSED. I have a husband. My husband has a job. I have 2 healthy kids with one on the way. We have a house to live in and food to eat. We have family close by. How can I even begin to think about feeling sorry for having to do it alone sometimes in light of all that I have been given and blessed with? I don't even know the true meaning of hardship and having a husband who travels certainly doesn't qualify!! Sometimes my circumstances and what I know on a daily basis of being "normal" can be quite sobering and frankly, makes me sick. I am one spoiled rotten American girl who whether I am conscious of it or not thinks I am entitled to certain things just because everyone else around me has it. GROSS! Having Pete gone half the time has allowed this pouty spoiled attitude of entitlement to raise it's ugly head and for that I am thankful. God has revealed it to me and is hopefully purging it and allowing me to see things as they really are. I'm sure I've only seen the tip of the iceberg but it's a start, right? I am beyond blessed and I am thankful!

Oh yes, and did I mention that I think single moms have the hardest job in the world? ;o)