Happy Mother's Day, Mom

My Mom, Me & Grand Do Do (yes, that's what we call my grandmother)

Today is Mother's Day and I wanted to take the opportunity to thank my mom blogger style.

I have an amazing mother (& her mom is pretty great too! pictured above). It was pointed out to me recently that in trying times like these, I am very fortunate to have a loving family to turn to. In many cases, family would be the last place one would go to for support. I am truly blessed! My mother, Susan Slade Brown (known as Muzzy to the grandchildren), is the most selfless person I know. She radiates the love of Jesus to everyone around her and challenges me to grow in my relationship with God. She gives the best hugs and is a delight to be around. It's easy to be with her & I miss her when she's not with me. When I look back on my childhood, I honestly think my mom did a wonderful job. She was strict, yet loving, held a moral standard that never wavered and prayed and prayed and prayed for me. I can only hope to be as good as a mom. She set an amazing example. Still does. Not only is she still my mommy when I need her, she is also a best friend, an advice giver, a truth teller, a shoulder to cry on, and FUN! My world feels safer when she's around.

So Mom, thank you for being you and loving me so well. I treasure you and thank God each day that he blessed me with a mother like you. You really are the BEST. I love you.



Happy Mother's Day! ~Whitney

"Pray for Forester" Bracelets

If you missed the opportunity to order a "PRAY for Forester" bracelet on eBay, you can still go to the site itself and order one. Obviously, the smaller the amount, the more you pay. Here is the information to enter, should you decide you want one. With the cheapest shipping option, you'll be paying roughly $8 for one bracelet.

www.wristbandconnection.com
Click on Order Now tab and choose the Lazer-Made option on the left
Font: Andy Bold
Choose Size: Small for kids, Medium for women, Large for men
Front Message: PRAY for Forester
Opposite Message: HOPE in the Lord
Color: Glow in the dark blue (second row)

LAST CALL...

We are about to submit one more order for the "Pray for Forester" bracelets. So, if you would like to get one/some at the ebay price of $2.50, you need to submit your order by this evening. After tonight we will put a sidebar on this blog with directions on how you can order your own bracelet. Ordering one at a time costs about $8.00 with shipping. So, get them now at this great price! Thanks so much!! - Whitney

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300311385125&ru=http%3A%2F%2Fsearch.ebay.com%3A80%2Fsearch%2Fsearch.dll%3Ffrom%3DR40%26_trksid%3Dp3907.m37.l1313%26satitle%3D300311385125%26category0%3D%26fvi%3D1

Surrender

A dear friend asked me the other day, "Are you not soo excited that this 6 weeks is over?" I said "yes" but I know my answer wasn't too convincing. I am glad that the first chapter of this long road is over but I can't help but still see the long road. I am thankful we have survived thus far. I am thankful that Forester is living and breathing. I am thankful that we are not still at the beginning. I've never run a marathon but I'm sure it's a great analogy for this. I'm glad I've conquered 6 miles but I still have 20 to go!

Today I'm just feeling sad. I realized that Slade will be 18 months old when Forester is finished with treatment. I have yet to log a single thing in her baby book. I don't want her first 18 months to be a blur to me. I want to absorb every moment, but how?

I miss our Charleston Christian School family. We were there everyday and then all of a sudden it's no longer our routine. I feel that empty space. I miss my friends. I feel so out of the loop of what used to be my "normal" life. Normal just doesn't exist right now. Maybe I'm grieving that loss. Not sure. I'm really just typing whatever comes to mind so I'm sorry if it's disjointed and hard to understand. My mind is not easy to understand. :-)

I am so thankful for St. Andrews, our church family. You are holding me up in more ways than you know. Yesterday was so good for me and yet so hard. In worship we sang, "I Surrender" . You may know it but here are the lyrics:

I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within

I lay it all down for the sake of you my King

I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights

I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I surrender all to you, all to you

And I surrender all to you, all to you

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross

And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss

For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name

To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain

In the midst of singing this song I began to struggle. Am I really willing to surrender all to Him? Even the life of my son? Can I lay Forester on the altar, willing to let the Lord take him? In my mind I began to scream, "No, No, No! Please don't take him, save him please! I don't want to let him go, I don't want to lay him down, I don't want to surrender him." Not him. But then I realized, what choice do I have? And what better hands to lay him in then in the hands of my Savior, Jesus Christ, who loves Forester more than me? He can heal him. He can love him better than I can. And, if it's His will, He can take him. (it took me 15 minutes to type that sentence) I pray that he doesn't. I pray that he completely heals Forester's body. I pray that he lives a long life proclaiming what the Lord has done and will do! But, I trust my Savior and I surrender to Him and His plans for our lives. Whatever that may look like. I surrender.

So, maybe I'm sad today because surrender is not easy and it is not without pain. Many dreams died the day Forester was diagnosed. New dreams have been born. Better dreams and more important ones for sure. But, the process is painful. Today I'm living in the pain.

But joy will come in the morning.

Psalm 30

I will exalt you, O LORD, for you lifted me out of the depths

and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.
O LORD, you brought me up from the grave;

you spared me from going down into the pit.
Sing to the LORD, you saints of his; praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime;

weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken."
O LORD, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm;

but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.
To you, O LORD, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy:
"What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit?

Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me; O LORD, be my help."
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.

O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

(emphasis mine)