Amazing how we have found a new normal around here. 6 months ago, the world we now live in, a child fighting cancer, didn't exsist. 6 months ago I would have told you that would be something I couldn't survive much less get a handle on. And yet, God gives us what we need when we need it. Not a moment before. It is impossible to store up courage, or peace, or even true grief. It happens when it happens and God provides in the moment. Somedays really feel normal around here. We've gotten used to the schedule, the hospital stuff, the pills, the shots. And somedays it just hits me and I absolutely hate our new normal. Yesterday was one of those days. It was time to get Slade's portraits done and I wanted some with the boys too. Looking at the proofs of the pictures, it just didn't look like my Forester. He's swollen from the steroids and he's not as athletic looking like he's always been. It just made me miss him. Even though he's right in front of me, (thank you Lord!) I began to miss my "old" guy. I was kindly reminded today by my sweet friend to remember that this time in our lives is just a season. She's right. Forester has already beaten cancer as far as I'm concerned & we're just dealing with the crappy side effects of chemo. But, one day this will be in our past. These days will be a memory. He may miss 2nd grade but he'll be a "normal" kid in 3rd grade. This too shall pass. I'm doing my best to embrace the current season that we're in. But somedays I just long for the new season to come like you would long for spring after a long, cold winter. It will come. I just miss my guy.
Above is a slideshow of Forester. I tried to put it in the sidebar but after hours of trying I just couldn't make it work. It's also supposed to be in chronological order but it's randomizing. Oh well. Grrr.. I'll keep trying.
I love him so much. My first born, my baby.