Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Week 3, Day 3 & A Little Honesty

Yesterday went pretty well. No drama at the hospital and Forester ate a little bit of food and it stayed down. He didn't sleep well complaining of leg pain and being uncomfortable. I finally convinced him to take some Oxycodone. He is getting to the point where he hates to swallow any medicine - whether it be a pill, suspension, or dissolvable tab. Each medication comes with complaint and refusal, then surrender. I have to give him something about every 3 hours or more each day. It stinks. Pray that this won't be so miserable for him. I think he's just tired of it. He can take these pills with the smallest sip of water or in applesauce...whatever. It's not difficult for him, he just doesn't like it. Plus, he's vomited several times after taking pills that are for nausea so I don't think he trusts me when I say it's going to help. I can hardly blame him.

Today is going OK. Chemo went fine and Forester actually said he was hungry for some chicken nuggets!! YAY HE'S HUNGRY!! So we got the nuggets. They went down and then came right back up. :o( This was only a couple hours after his IV Zofran (which SHOULD last 8 hours). Poor guy. I'm really afraid he's going to give up on food altogether. Meanwhile every doctor and nurse is pushing us to get him to eat. To be honest, I'm ready to punch someone in the face!! We're TRYING!! (sorry...venting...) Radiation is next and then home. I'm praying that we won't be playing catch up with the nausea all night. Pray for a peaceful tummy, that Forester will crave something to eat, that he CAN eat and that it will stay down.

I'm stressed.

On top of fighting cancer, our computer crashed and my car is falling apart. The car is in the shop and it's going to cost $2,100.00 to fix. I had a baby in December and I still have baby weight to lose. And no, breastfeeding isn't helping! I can't stand to look at myself. It's depressing. Trying to plan weight watcher meals and get to the gym is almost impossible these days. It feels like too much for my brain to hold onto and concentrate on. Have I mentioned yet that my hair is falling out? Yes, a hairbrush-ful each day. It's bad. It's more than just post baby hair loss. It's the stress. I need a little break here!!! Do I sound like I'm on the verge of a breakdown? I kinda feel like I am... Today just isn't a good one I guess. Tomorrow will be better. I hope. Sorry for the vent. Just keep praying for me.
Love and thanks,


Mama Plett said...

Oh Whitney! I wish I could say something that would make any of this easier. I am praying for your family all the time and will continue to pray for added peace and a happier tummy for Forester. I can relate to breast feeding not helping with weight loss, so at least I can commiserate on one tiny thing. Huge HUGS coming your way!!!

Zandi said...

Whitney> oh please do not apologize for the vent! My gosh I am amazed you even have energy to post. Its so unfair, everything you are going through is just unfair.

I had a thought and it may be too late as you may have already done the whole bracelets on Ebay thing, but I think you should put a price on them and raise some $. I do not think ANYONE would object. I'd gladly buy one. Even if its only $10 it will get some money maybe to pay for the car? Thats only 200 bracelts, easy.
Trying to think of something off drawings of Foresters or anyones to raise funds... people WILL do it.

I dunno, its just a thought and I wish I could just make it all better for you RIGHT NOW.
love Zandi

Mindy Wilson said...

You don't need to apologize for venting! No child or parent should have to go through something like this. Every area of your lives changed in one simple trip to the doctor. This is just a reminder that you have many people “out here” praying for you all. I check your blog at least twice a day and am praying for Forester and your entire family. It’s hard to see it right now, but one day down the road … (Picture it … at a holiday table with your children & their spouses & their children!!) … this time in your lives will be a distant memory! But for today, just take one minute at a time … and know that God has put many of us out here to pray for you when you are two tired to do it yourself!

heather said...

Whitney- Vent away are due some vent. We continue to pray for Forester. But I will specifically pray for you. I can only imagine the stress of it all and I know I wouldn't handle it half as well as you have. I can sympathize with the baby weight too. It's a struggle, but add that to everything else and I can only imagine. Josh and I also thought about the idea that you should charge for the bracelets...or a suggested donation amount. I know people would be happy to help out in a very tangible way. And, sometimes we just want to be heard when we need to vent! Praying specifically for you...-heather merriam
ps. I would want to punch someone in the face too.

Destiny said...

I want you to know how truly amazing you are! I second everything that Mama Plett, Zandi, Mindy, and Heather said. The whole baby weight thing, I truly sympathize as Davidson is now 10 months and you saw me a few weeks hasn't gone anywhere and I'm thinking it's not going to anytime soon! I also had so much hair fall out after Davidson and it is just starting to grow back. As for the bracelets, I would buy several and I know many others who would as well!. You can vent whenever you want too. I would have vented on week 1, day 1 and here it is week 3, day 3 for you and your family. I'm also sure I would have cussed someone out by now and maybe even punched them too! So, please know that I love you and think that you are truly an amazing woman, wife, and mother! You are a true warrior! I also know many others feel the same way about you! Love and hugs to all!

carriebc said...

Hi Whit,

I feel ya on the baby weight! I GAINED weight after the baby, lol! And no, breastfeeding isn't helping me either...makes me so hungry! I feel like I look revolting as well, LOL! I went through this after Maddie too. I think we just get used to having regular nonpostpartum bodies and it's frustrating to be so tired, stressed, craving chocolate, and then feel fat all the time ;0). I just tell myself that this is just a season... Oh, I think an auction is a wonderful idea! I have some brand new boutique children's clothes I could contribute! Oh, and have you tried Ensure with Forester??? I'm sure they've mentioned it; we tried it with Maddie but she didn't like it.


Tammy H said...

Ugh. Whitney. Girl, if you don't have dibs on the permission to vent category, then I certainly don't know who does. Sorry about the yuck of all this stuff. I have nothing for you, except that I am praying my heart out for you. It's honestly way too much for any one person, or one family. Praying for God's strength to truly be made perfect in weakness. One thing I love about you is that you are keeping it real, being authentic, I respect that a ton. I'm pretty sure God likes it too. Hang in there. Praying.

Rene' said...

Whitney and Pete,
I have been trying to figure out how I can lend a helping hand. I know the children don't know me well but I can take care of the little ones and give you a break to go for a walk, take a nap, grocery shop, whatever. Weekends work too. Sundays after church?
Rene' Palko, SAMP Nursery